Where is my rock?

I want to crawl under it......

Almost at 4 months to go, and I have a billion things to do..... Whoever said this was a joyous time are either one of two things: single or filthy rich. On a stress scale of 1 - 10, I am at a constant/daily 12. I would love to go a day without even thinking or worrying if everything is right, am I forgetting something, gotta call them and ask, its how much.... at every moment. Any and everything irritates me. I see why people elope or go to city hall.... More than half of me really prefers this, but the other portion can't help to think I would be cheating myself.

I have yet to lose any weight. Its my own fault. I can't help to think that I am self sabotaging this, because of all the other what if stress.

I think I should take a weekend, to be just me, no mommy, no fiance, no daughter, no employee.. just me. I need to get myself back I've gotta go to the blackberry just to schedule a time to get myself back...... sad..... I just gotta re-prioritize and get myself together....

.......Hey Calgon...... be expecting a text from my blackberry, to your email, to schedule a meeting where you can take me away...

Found a dress

I had no idea that looking for a dress would be a stressful situation. When I would talk to random people and they find out I am engaged, that is the first question they ask. Have you found a dress yet? Are you excited to go look for one? My answer would always remain the same - "NO".

Up until this past Saturday, I dreaded it. I had no desire to go look for a dress, or try a bunch of them on, that could possible look horrible on me. I guess you can chalk it up to the weight I have gained, and still have not lost. But I imagined the experience to be something similar to a root canal.

They say you are supposed to begin looking for a dress, and purchasing a dress 6 to 8 mos before the wedding. That way, if alterations need to be done, there will be plenty of time. I made an appointment April 4, 2009 at this local bridal shop. Friday morning, the day before the appointment, I began to panic. The thought of all the things that could go wrong was too much. I don't think I got much sleep that night. With my mom next to me, Saturday afternoon I walked into the shop, a little hopeful, a little terrified. I thought, would they even have dresses for me to try on in my size? UGH! Well we waited, waited, waited to get waited on. The employees acted as if we weren't even there. Granted, it is prom season, but it was as if they went out of their way to help every one but us. We waited a good 15/20 minutes before someone said very unpleasantly to another co-worker..... "see if they have been helped." The employee asked if we have been helped. I told them that I had an appointment. She asked if I had be registered, and then began to write my info on scrap paper? WTH?? This is how you register someone? She then told me to go ahead and start looking at dresses and then a Bridal consultant would be with me shortly. My mom and I started looking that were unorganized on a rack. Finally, another 10 min the bridal consultant came and asked what kind of dresses i was looking for. I gave her my descriptions. You would think at that point she would point out some dresses for me, but no. She stated well keep looking, and after i finish doing what I am doing i will come back?? another WTH??? I remembered that this bridal store carried a certain designer i had admired. When the bridal consultant walked by me again, I stopped her to ask her is they carried the designer and if she could point me in the direction of her gowns. She said yes, but she didn't know exactly where, but would find out and come back. Well, she never did. At this point. I am too through. I can't believe this is how my first time at looking at a wedding dress went. My mom and I walked out, and I called another store in a different town to see if they could fit me in today. They could.

My mom and I drove over there. I looked at a few dresses and tried a few on. I looked through there catalog, and came across a dress that caught my eye. It was a certain style i said I would never wear. It is very clean, plain, and classy. No beading, no crystals, no nothing. Well i asked if they had that in the store in my size and they did. I loved it. It is very simple. I decided to go with it. You would think i would be relieved that the process if over, considering all the how I was feeling about the process. Well I am not! lol

Now i am wondering if i got the right dress. Did i decide too soon? Should I pick a gown that is more elaborate? Should i still look? This is where I am at. I think i now have dress envy..... ugh..... We should just elope.

I am thinking about contacting the manager of poor customer service....

Tidbits

I finally had my ring sized. I was trying to hold out, because I didn't want to part with it, but they ended up being able to do it in the store while I waited. I was so excited! When they were done, I put it on immediately, and went home. I took it off to look at it again, the newly sized ring, only to see that they bent the setting!! %^$&^# I found this out after they closed for the day. Now I have to wait until next Saturday to bring it back to them. GRRRR!

My first purchase:

When I first got engaged, I was watching this bridal show on TV. It was about this wedding planner who completely makes over your wedding. On the show, he surprised this couple with a set of Waterford Crystal items. These pieces were gorgeous. They were gifted plates, toasting flutes, cake server, and other things. I immediately fell in love with the cake server. I had to have them. I ran to the computer to see how much there were..... WHOA!!! I made a decision to save a little each month, so I could have them. That cake serve was going to be mine! Well, I purchased the set over the weekend. They were even more gorgeous in person. I took it to a jewelry store that have our initials engraved on them. I can't wait to see how it turns out.

Met with a Wedding Planner:

She was awesome! Very organized and creative. She listened, and gave me great suggestions. Together, I think we found my table cloths and invitations. Working with her is going to be great!

I am my own worst enemy...

UGH...... I didn't work out this morning. I am hopeless.

It was something about the cool breeze from my window that made me sleep so well, that i just kept hitting that little annoying buzzer from the alarm clock...

Now I am so mad at myself. I just gotta get up tomorrow morning.


WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Drill Sergeant

I meet with him tonight...... my personal trainer.

For some reason, I am a little bit nervous, yet excited. I am not working out tonight, but just meeting him for a consultation. I will be going over my goals, and he will give me a routine to do on my own.

My plan is to start tomorrow morning at 5:30. I gotta do this. I also need to figure out a diet plan. My goal is to lose 30 - 50 lbs by December. Can it be done? Am I over ambitious?

Hopefully this will be come more of a routine and not a chore. I know this will also help me with my stress. I just gotta try not to roll over when my alarm goes off. I wish I had a work out partner........

Here is a pic of the room. Although my colors will be a bit different.

One down, a million more to go...

I have a reception place!! WOO HOO!

I ended up looking at 3 places over the weekend.

• First: a hotel. It is convenient, and has everything there. I could also have my dinner rehearsal there. The package would include the reception room, bar, honeymoon suite, set-up and take down, cake serving, catering, and dance floor. The room was gorgeous. The floors are red, and it even has a balcony. The only hitch is the huge price! The base price for catering along is $41 per person, multiply that by 150 guest! GEEZE!
• Second: Banquet hall at a golf course. The area was gorgeous. Inside the facility, the floors are black, with gold flecks. The dance floor was kind of small. The catering prices were good. Not really going over $20 per person. I really thought that room had possibilities. The deposit was low. Right at the end of the walk through, i found out the room is not even available for my wedding date?? What?? I know when i set up the meeting i told the lady my date. She didn't say anything at that time?
• Third/last: Private Club. This initially was my first choice, but i assumed this would be the most expensive of the 3. I was wrong. The catering wasn't that expensive. The reception room has hard wood floors, and a balcony. Also, another room is included. That is where the bar, and the hors d'oeuvres will be served. I decided to go with this place. I went a head and paid the deposit, which ended up being the cheapest of the 3 as well. Now i just need to meet with them to go over food choices.

Do you have to have 2 choices? like a chicken, and a beef? Or can you just have once choice? I am excited to do a tasting though!

Next up: Next weekend I meet with an Events Coordinator. I am hoping she can help me plan, and not cost an arm and a leg to do so. I have seen some of her receptions that she has decorated, and they are awesome. The following weekend, I meet with a photographer. April 4, I actually have an appointment to try on gowns. AND NO I am not excited about that. I found out that you should try and pick out a gown 6 to 8 mos ahead of the wedding to allow for alterations. But i envisioned me trying on gowns at a weight I am happy about. But it looks like, since the 8 month will be in April, I have no choice but to try on gowns being "Large Marge". Ugh... instead of tears of joy, I will have tears of sadness I am sure. On a good note, I am meeting a physical trainer this Monday, who will give me a routine. I plan to bust my tail until I am at a weight, that I feel good at. I just wish i could see some difference by April. LOL

I will post pics on my next blog....

Feet don't fail me now.....

I have yet to decided a time to this schindig, but I am thinking wedding at 2:00pm, photos following, and reception at 5:00?