I came all the way back here for this???

Well, I/We are back from our mini vacay from California. It was so nice to see my sister. We had so much fun. J hit it off with my sis and her hubby. There was even a little male bonding of a game of basket ball.

One thing I always wanted to do, but always chicken out was ride a mechanical bull. Well this time, i grabbed the bull by the horns (pun intended), and rode it. What a horrid sight it was, but i had so much fun. Surprisingly, it is much harder than it looks. I completely fell face first just trying to get on the mat... smooth i know. lol I saddled that baby up... and i was doing so well... next thing i know.. SPLAT! i was thrown off! aw man... talk about sore. I didn't realize i needed to do thigh-curls to prepare for it. Next time.... its on!

The trip came to an end, and we caught a flight back to St. Louis only to be greeted by horrible weather... predidtion: ice storm.... Is it too late to fly back to sunny california?

Getting Out of Dodge.....

Tomorrow, me and J are heading to St. Louis to catch a flight to California. I am so stressed and excited. My sister lives in Cali, and she is graduating with her Masters in Nursing. She will be a Nurse Practitioner. I am so proud of her. I am glad I am able to sneak away for a few days to spend time with my sis, brother-in-law, and neice. I usually only get a chance to see them twice a year. I gotta keep working on my plan for them to move closer to home. LOL

This will be my first trip with a boy! Yikes! I am a little nervous how J will do with my sister and Brother-in-law. J is awesome, but he is very quiet. It takes him a minute to warm up to people. Sometimes people can misread quietness for other things. So i am just hoping that everything goes well.

My sister's graduation has gotten me thinking. Last year I had made a plan that this time next year (which is now), i would be enrolled in grad school. Well, i dropped the ball. The only thing standing in my way is that darn GRE. GRRRRR! I took it once, without even studying for it, and lets just say.....i need to retake it. I have to get focused again. So once again, I am going to make another goal that Fall 2009/Summer 2009 I WILL BE ENROLLED IN GRAD SCHOOL! I can't let this one test keep me from attaining my goals. Even if it means taking one class per semester for the rest of my life, i have to finish my master's degree. UGH!!!

Oh it is ladies night and the mood is right.....

After announcing my engagement to my friend "ishie", she came up with idea that the 5th of every month up until the wedding, we get together with the girls and do something to celebrate. Well starting this Friday, It will be exactly 1 year until me and J (S.O.) walk down the isle.

I haven't had a girls night in so long. I am so looking forward to laughing and being silly. I am not sure what all we will be doing, but i would be content with just getting something to eat and some bevs, and catch up with everybody. I think my clubs days are past me now. I can only take so much of that. You can barely hear yourself think, let alone hold a conversation. WOW...I sound really old. LOL

I am so very thankful for my friends. It is so nice to have people in your lives who are genuinely happy for you, and wish you the best.

"That Was Easy"

Where is my easy button? So the time away wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. I imagined myself to spend the holiday in a corner somewhere sulking, because me and S.O. were not together. Don't get me wrong, the bed time was hard, because i am used to sleeping with him, and when he is away, i don't sleep well, but other than that ...... lol, it was pretty much smooth sailing. Then again, I probably talked to him 50 times a day when we were a part. But hey, that's ok... it showed me that I am stronger than i thought, and being apart can do some good. Baby steps..... gotta take baby steps.......

Selfish Thanksgiving

This is the time of year where you are supposed to give thanks for everything you are grateful for.

What am i doing? Stewing in my own selfishness. All that I can think about is how me and "S.O" are going to be apart for these next three days. AHHHH! What is wrong with me? I am going out of town to spend time with family, and he is staying at home to spend time with his. Rationally, there is nothing wrong with a couple doing their own thing, but why am i taking this so hard? I have been lashing out over anything, having an attitude, or been depressed for almost the past two weeks. Seriously what is wrong with me? Why is he okay with us being apart? Why am i the only one struggling with this? I know time apart can be a good thing for a couple, but i am just going to miss him like crazy! I NEED TO GET A GRIP.

Long Time No See

Its been so long since I have blogged. I can't believe how my life has changed since my last entry. I ended the last entry with making a "husband wish" on my birthday cake. Fast forward a few months..... I AM ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!

I can't believe it. I have been friends with this guy for almost 15 years. Over the past 5 years he has become my best friend. He has been there for me when relationships with other guys didn't work out. Never did i imagine that the whole time, Mr. Right was right under my nose.

It all started several months ago when he accompanied me to a wedding. We were joking around and making a declaration that if neither one of us is married by the time we are 35, then we will get married. As we "shook" on the deal, it occurred to me, why not him? Why not now? It was no secret that he was interested in me, but respected my wishes of us just remaining best friends. I was so afraid it would ruin the friendship. It was no secret that we were attracted to each other. We were both single. The timing was right. This person knows everything about me, what i have been through, and loves me just the same. DUH!! This should have been a no brainer. But me being me, I had to give it some more thought. It took me going to Puerto Rico for business for it to finally hit me. I was missing him like CRAZY! At that moment, i knew I had to take a leap of faith. He picked me up from the airport and we talked about giving "us" a chance. A week later, it was official. I was now in a relationship with my best friend.

Fast forward several months.... the relationship is wonderful. I am so in love with him. This is amazing. There are no secrets between us, because we were friends first. There is non of that, phony beginning type stuff, because he already knows me. So one morning, I was lying in bed and he was getting ready for work when he stopped everything and came over to the side of the bed i was on. He looked at me and told me he loved me, and how he felt about me. Then he asked me to marry him. I was in shock. He kept waiting for an answer, and i kept asking if he was serious. I never occurred to me that i didn't answer him! LOL His face looked disappointed and he said, " well i guess i am going to go to work..." I was still in shock and just shook my head "ok". Finally when he was at the door, i realized... "oh shoot, i never answered him...," and I yelled... "YES!!!!" He ran back in the bedroom, and asked "yes?". I said "yes" again. We hugged. I didn't want to let go. That was the best Monday I have ever had. LOL

I am going to marry my best friend December 5th, 2009. There is only one thing remaining......he has to ask my fathers permission........ to be con't..... :-)

29..............I think I May Like You

Tomorrow I face the moment of truth. Tomorrow, I will begin that last year in my 20's. AAAHHH!!! I cannot believe I will be 29 tomorrow. Last year at this time, I cried from sun up to sun down. I am not sure why 28 was so hard for me. I guess it is not uncommon for young women to create a "life plan" for themselves at some point. And I, like most knew when I would graduate college, when I would live on my own, what my occupation would be, when I would go to graduate school, when I would get married, and when I would have children, and where I would live. And I assumed all of this would work out like I planned and it would all happen before I turn 30. Well fast forward 9 years, and I am still single, have a beautiful daughter, never attended graduate school, working in a field I never imagined being in, and living in a city so close to home. And its not to say these things I envisioned can't happen, it just that they didn't happen in the time frame that I wanted. That's the hard part.

I think being single is the most difficult at times. When your a lot of your peers are married, and co-workers are married, at times you can feel left out. It would be nice to say that I am at least dating. But even my date book has dust on it.

Even though I will be one year older tomorrow, i actually feel ok so far... No pity parties as of yet. I decided I would take my daughter to a theme park tomorrow, so hopefully there won't be any room for any "mope-age". I am going to try to make 29 the best year yet. I will apply to grad school, and I will try to "put myself out there" more.

...and who knows.....maybe I will wish for a good husband on my birthday cake! lol

thoughts on turning 29 to be continued.................

The FAST and the Furious

I am still on the fast, sort of. I still have been eating mostly fruits and veggies, but occasionally, i will eat a chicken salad or a small portion of food. And honestly, I feel really good. I know I haven't lost a pound or anything, but I still feel very good. I have more energy than I have had in a long time. Now i just have to work in some exercise. I think I am going to love this new way of eating!

oldies but goodies

In the beginning of 2008, I decided to start blogging. I was going to create a blog that told a story of one single woman's journey of dating, friendships, dieting, shoping, and finding herself. I started off good, but then neglected the blog. Somehow, along the way; I forgot the password, and couldn't log on to update. So..... I copied the link to catch up.

www.tellmewhatuknow.blogspot.com

Take 2

Ok.... let's just say me and the Master Cleanser did not get along. Unfortunately, i didn't last longer than a day. It was so gross. It took me one whole day to finish one bottle of this concoction of man-made vomit. So like most single women, i had a plan B. The Daniel's fast. The fasting consists of nothing but fruit, veggies, and plenty of water for 10 - 21 days. For protein, i eat a small handful of nuts, or brown rice. Beans are another option, but anyone that knows me, knows I don't do beans. So far so good. I had a small set back this weekend.... it was the 4th of July for Pete's sake! However, I am back on the wagon. Who would have thought fruit would be so hard to get in. Somehow along the years, I became a veggie girl. I can remember as a kid, not even wanting to so much look at a veggie, let alone eat one....but now fruit has become a struggle.

Cleansing Take 1

Today is the first day of the Master Cleanse. I followed the directions. I took half a lemon, squeezed that into a cup, and added a dash of cayenne pepper, and maple syrup. I poured the ingredients in a bottle of room temperature water. Give it a good shake. I took the first sip. OH MY GOODNESS!!!! It taste like vomit. I go back to the directions. I am supposed to drink how many per day? How am I going to drink 10 - 12 8 oz bottles of this per day? I am really struggling here. Every 1-2 hours it says? oh c'mon!

I finished getting myself and my daughter ready. I haven't touched the water bottle for at least 30 min. Hoping that taste had somehow changed just by sitting there. I take another sip. This time the taste is more lemony-peppery this time. Note to self: cut back on the cayenne pepper. I am not a big fan of lemons, but this a whole lot better then that vomit taste. I am still struggling. I made this drink at 6:00 am. It is now almost 9:00 am and i am still on the same bottle. This is not a good sign. Hopefully i will get used to this, and have some good results. Time will tell.

Clean Me Up Scottie!

For a while now, I have been thinking about removing meat from my diet. I am getting older now and I am noticing how yucky I feel day to day. And of course I know exercise will help, but I just want to eat better. So I have been doing some research, and I thought what better way to begin this new lifestyle, then to cleanse the toxins from the current lifestyle. I will do a Master Cleanse Program for 10 days, then begin my journey to a meatless diet. Peace of cake, right?

Let's see.....the program calls for lemons, purified water, cayenne pepper, and organic maple syrup - grade B. Sounds appetizing right? So Monday, I go to pick up my supplies. I didn't realize organic syrup was so hard to find. After calling around to several places, I finally located some. Wow....the stuff is pretty pricey.

Last night, I go home, to re-read the directions of my 10-day cleanse. Oh shoot, you need to do a oral enema of sea salt water. Who has sea salt just lying around? Ok, i read again...it needs to be uniodized salt. I guess Morton's out. Well...what difference could it really make? I get a luke warm glass of water and sprinkle good ol table salt in there. Stir it around. This can't be that bad. Take a long nice gulp of it. Gross. I can't get beyond 2 sips more.

I lay down thinking about tomorrow. I sure hope I can drink this stuff. I sit and ponder, is this the right time to start this? This weekend will be July 4th. You know the time for hot dogs, and bbq, and pasta salad. I sure I hope I can get through the weekend. Here goes nothing